Hey Family,
Just a quick note… may be the last for a little while… as I learn the ropes of fatherhood.
Baby could come anytime now. This feels very real now.. what a precipice we stand together on. I feel so excited... so delighted to be on this journey with Anna.
9 months is a long time... and wow has this been a period laden with plot twists, challenge and stretchmarks. I'm in awe of this natural process of metamorphosis... how the planting of a seed in the womb catalysed a domino effect... sending us both hurtling into a mythical journey of unimaginable depth.
The first trimester was a journey of shedding skin. Anna was bedridden with intense nausea, we both got covid while living in a mouldy cabin…
I struggled to hold it together.. and went into a dark place… I felt depressed, bitter, resentful and that I took occasionally took it out on others.
It felt like everything was crumbling, and life showed me it was time to see all that was hidden in the shadows. 10 years worth of "stuff" come up in 3 months... and thats what I needed…
The 2nd trimester was a totally different chapter... and it was time to work through the material that had arisen.. and to truly let go of past baggage and identities. We moved into a new home, and some hardcore "rooster medicine" and a longing for Mama Ocean soon revealed this home was not to be.
Anna and I were faced with moving again and trusting that we would find a home in which to birth our little one. Longing for stability was a big theme, with big emotional waves wobbling us, during a time of flooding and collective distress in the community.. before we would find our centre, and find our way back home to the love and knowing in our hearts.
The 3rd trimester by the ocean has been profoundly sweet for me. As Anna's belly has swelled, so has our love. It has been the most beautiful chapter of my life, witnessing Anna expand, witnessing her courage, her surrender... and also witnessing something new within me blossom.
Fatherhood. I can feel the ancient song singing through my veins... and I feel ready to nurture new life. I feel so much gratitude for the blessing of this journey, this cracking open, and for the invitation to let go of the past and initiate a new path, with family.
Sending love.. and receiving love. bless up family. xxx from the 3 of us.
On the precipice
gorgeous, all the very best to the 3 of you